So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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