fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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