I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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