I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
