You're completely useless in the revolution.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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