I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize