so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
