Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
