hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
