Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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