Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
