that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
