I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
