She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
