omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
