i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
