god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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