my mouth tastes like poor choices
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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