I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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