I think my fart just growled at me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You did what with his pubic hair?
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