He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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