the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
