This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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