If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
