I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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