if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize