her vagina looked like bernie madoff
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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