Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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