Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
