at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Too much gin, very little bucket
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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