I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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