Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
