You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
