So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
