1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
