I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
