VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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