I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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