Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
