so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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