I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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