I'm going to jail i love you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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