Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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