I love black thongs
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have demons in me.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
