porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize