"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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