I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
