You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
