It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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