this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
