I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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