do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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