wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
