So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize