he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize