you win again, gameday.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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