Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i drank out of a bidet.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
