It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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