i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
