Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
