Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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