I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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