she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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