How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
