Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
