i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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