hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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